i'm waiting

saturday. when i should be with my daughter i'm waiting... in my office. for my coworkers to show up. we are "restructuring" the office. which pretty much means we are cleaning all the crap up. so i'm bored. wondering what's for lunch.

i've become an ebay whore... and i'm not ashamed of it. where else can u get a brand new pair of jeans with tage for 99 CENTS!!!! i also got my daughter's formula from there. for about 30% less than at the store.

i'm hungry. i've been dieting for about a month and have lost 10lbs. now i'm at my preprego weight.. which means that i have to lose all the weight i wanted to lose before i got pregers.

did i mention that my coworker was late and i'm waiting?

i got an email from an old college professor. about having a kind of mini reunion with classmates from the honors program at Hunter. i want to go cuz he was one of my favorite teachers (picture a puerto rican santa... i swear) but how do i go back and meet those overacheivers in the honors program and tell them that i didn't finish? that i threw out that opportunity that i had when i had it? that all my hard work was for naught because now ... without a diploma my almost 4.0 gpa means nothing. that all the hours i put in the library and writing papers don't count cuzi never got that slip of paper with a magna cum laude, cum laude or even just a fucking congrats on it. i loved school. and i left cuz i had to take care of a sick someone. then when i went back... i had lost my rhythm. and when i got it back i was poor without a job and paying way too much fucking money for cigarettes and wine. now i'm all rhythmic again and i have a beautiful healthy someone to take care of. i love bella and i'm so happy that i have her now... but i loved being a nerd!! as soon as i can i'm going back to school even if i'm 50 and getting hot flashes i'm going to finish being a nerd. i just have to wait.

did i mention that i was waiting....

The Co-worker

he's this guy that sits right accross from me. he talks on the phone way too loud. because he wants us all to hear how he tries to shmooze people in our district. he says totally inappropriate things in the office ex. - he gets off the phone with another electeds staff member and says i hate that girl.. she sounds like a fat miserable lonely person. he's confrontational, belligerant, argumentative... all those adjetives rolled up into one. He's a problem. so much so that even our divaboss has to warn peopel about him... as in... i apologize in advance if he comes off as pushy and annoying... he means well.

now this may just be me but... if u have warn people about one of ur staff members the person should stop being ur staff member. we can't stand him here at the office... but... we don't think he'll be around for much longer. his crassness and all together lack of manners and professionalism will get him fired... or at least we hope it will.

No live for me!!!

so the first taste of the sacrafices that are now part of my life cuz of motherhood... was that dramatic enough for ya?
my beau has been on a concert frenzy lately. last week we went to see INXS and this week we were supposed to go see LIVE. but of course... i didn't have a babysitter. so what did i do last night while my beau and his lucky cousin where enjoying THREE encores?? i was home burping my bella. rocking her so she fell asleep in my arms and waiting for her sleepy eyes to close and her little head rest on my shoulder as she pinched my neck (she does that to everyone.. she's a neck pincher!)... who am i kidding... i think i had a better time last night.

Happy mother's day to me!!

my poor baby..

she had her check up yesterday and got 4 shots!!! she cried so much it broke my heart. My beau couldn't watch and closed his eyes and helped comfort her afterwards.
i didn't come to work so i could spend the day with her yesterday and make her feel better... but i was bombarded with txt messages from my job about when i was coming in and all the things i had to take care of. it was annoying.

now i'm getting more responsibility thrown at me. hopefully they'll also throw some more money at me but i have to ASK... instead of it being given in the same way more work was being given to me. but even if they give me a raise is more money worth not being home with my bella when she's hurting. or when she's happy... or when she's sleeping...