i'm waiting

saturday. when i should be with my daughter i'm waiting... in my office. for my coworkers to show up. we are "restructuring" the office. which pretty much means we are cleaning all the crap up. so i'm bored. wondering what's for lunch.

i've become an ebay whore... and i'm not ashamed of it. where else can u get a brand new pair of jeans with tage for 99 CENTS!!!! i also got my daughter's formula from there. for about 30% less than at the store.

i'm hungry. i've been dieting for about a month and have lost 10lbs. now i'm at my preprego weight.. which means that i have to lose all the weight i wanted to lose before i got pregers.

did i mention that my coworker was late and i'm waiting?

i got an email from an old college professor. about having a kind of mini reunion with classmates from the honors program at Hunter. i want to go cuz he was one of my favorite teachers (picture a puerto rican santa... i swear) but how do i go back and meet those overacheivers in the honors program and tell them that i didn't finish? that i threw out that opportunity that i had when i had it? that all my hard work was for naught because now ... without a diploma my almost 4.0 gpa means nothing. that all the hours i put in the library and writing papers don't count cuzi never got that slip of paper with a magna cum laude, cum laude or even just a fucking congrats on it. i loved school. and i left cuz i had to take care of a sick someone. then when i went back... i had lost my rhythm. and when i got it back i was poor without a job and paying way too much fucking money for cigarettes and wine. now i'm all rhythmic again and i have a beautiful healthy someone to take care of. i love bella and i'm so happy that i have her now... but i loved being a nerd!! as soon as i can i'm going back to school even if i'm 50 and getting hot flashes i'm going to finish being a nerd. i just have to wait.

did i mention that i was waiting....