day 3

just got worse. bella has been having trouble sleeping. she wakes up as soon as i get home which is usually late with this job and even though i see she's super tired she fights sleeping. and the way she does this is by crying... she stops when i hold her. or just when she sees me. she stares at me dozes off but as soon as i step away she up again. i refuse to let her sleep in bed with us because well i think her bed is cleaner and more comfy... so i didn't get to sleep till 5am. i was so tired that i slept through her next crying fit... my mother had to sneak into our room and take her away so i could get a few hours of sleep.

so i woke up super late ... and got to work super late. and i got screamed at for being late. ok fine i'm late that's not good blah blah.. but i don't deserve to be screamed at...
hello chief of staff, sorry i'm late...
yeah, well i'm the one that's going to get fired because of all you guys and then she's gonna come in here and fire all of you. none of you are doing your work and i get screamed at.

because i really need this right now. i wanted to tell her off. to tell her how out of all the people in this office she really should not be screaming at me. about how if she needs to talk to me about my work or lateness she should do it privately and not in front of everyone. i wanted to quit on the spot because it's one way to be home with my bella. but i just walked away. walked away wanting to cry i was so angry.

it won't take much to set me off today... i hope everyone stays clear of me.