dragas y pirates

random thoughts on the adventures de una ecua y su hijita living in a harsh mundo where they survive with the help of her alter ego the angry pirate... arg

My Photo
Name:
Location: Ozone Park, New York, United States

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

It's Flag Day

and it's my birthday. i'm 28 years young? oh i'm getting old. it's ok. i'm happy. i mean... i hate my job i want to move out of my parent's house and i want to loose more weight.. but i'm happy. go figure.. perhaps it's cuz my relationship with my boyfriend is almost blissful(i say almost cuz nothing is perfect... ) perhaps it's cuz i have the coolest best friend that i can count on.. and perhaps it's because i'm a uber cool person...

so this year for my birthday i don't need anything. i'm happy it's all i want... oh and some cash.. i'll take cash.

happy birthday to me!!! :0)

Monday, June 06, 2005

he finally gets it

yesterday my beau and i made 7 months. we had a very nice lazy day at my place. (well.. after all the sex we had a very lazy day.. hehe) we watched tv ate italian ices and went out to get yummy italian food. but of course the conversation from last week came up.

we were watching tv i think.. i don't even know how it came up but something about how it's important to have tools if u own a house. and i said... well i won't have to worry about that after u move in. he gives me a look. i say.. don't worry that won't be till we are at least together 2 years. he says damn.. why 2 years? and i say well if i had left it like that u would've have started with the we've only been together for 7 months.. i've not ready for that u want to move too fast blah blah blah.. he laughs cuz he knows it's true.

so then i say.. i'm not ready to move in with u... i never said i wanted to marry u either. your little speech last week made me feel like crap. he said it wasn't my intention i just wanted u to know where i was on that topic. as far as i'm concerned i said.. that topic should have never been brought up. and i felt bad because after ur whole speech all it meant to me was that i wasn't good enough.. that's why i'm still pissed about it. i sit here and do all these things for u... and it's nto good enough. i felt taken for granted and like i was wasting my time.

he apologized. said he didn't mean for it to be personal.. ??????????? he then said.. wait i guess it was cuz i was talking about us... but i meant that he just wasn't ready. i do love u and i'm sorry i did that.

so later that night when we were in bed he says to me.. thank you babe. and i'm like thank you? for what? por ser tan bonita y buena conmigo. i think he gets it. finally

Sunday, June 05, 2005

wedding day bliss part whatever

this saturday my beau and i went to my friend's wedding. I've known Big O (big O cuz his name starts with the letter o and it alludes to the cartoon network show by that title.. nothing to do with orgasms) since about the 5th grade.. i was in the 6th. he's a good guy. very easy going.

the wedding was fun. it was on one of thsoe boats that goes around the city. at first i was getting a little motion sickness but then i got used the the motion in the ocean and was good to go. they had a very untraditional wedding reception (the ceremony was normal) no speeches. no announced entrance. they got on the boat and said ok.. let's eat and the boat moving. music's upstairs. within the hour all the women upstaris were dancing barefoot to old school hip hop. the bride was glowing and big O was his normal laid back self. when he came over to our table to chat i asked him.. hey how's it going.. oh u know.. getting married and shit.

the cake wasn't a cake... they had one small round cake for the bride and groom and the rest were chocolate and vanilla cupcakes. they were yummy. i had my dance with the groom. and like every other time the old crew is together.. there was an after party at big o's house. i didn't make it though.. my beau had work stuff to be done.

it was nice seeing two people that are totally in love getting married. it was perfect.

Friday, June 03, 2005

the wedding bells ring yet again

so i have another wedding to go to this saturday. my friend from grammar school is finally getting hitched. i think i'll be sad and happy. happy because i think they make a great couple. they are truely happy together and she's the only girl that he's been with that i actually consider a friend now too.

i'll be sad because it will remind me of something i may never have. and i'm not just saying that because of the conversation i had with my current beau. i really think that getting married is something that's way out there. i've joked with mala that we'll end up living together with 21 cats.. but i really do see this as a possible outcome. well maybe not that many cats. so while the conversation may have made this possiblity a little more plausible... i've been thinking this way for a very long time...

i'll also be sad because the wedding is at the freakin crack of dawn!!! the ceremony is at 9am! and the reception at 11:30!! now we all know i have a problem with the getting places on time.. it's almost certain that i'll miss the ceremony... damn it i have to start getting ready now. arg

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

in all fairness

i feel like i've been unfair to my beau in how i represent him in my blog. he's a good man. he's a caring boyfriend. he's not all to blame about the communication problems we are having. and to tell the truth i'm not all that upset about his "no marriage" speech the other day. I'm upset because he doesn't think i support him.

i'm a needy person. in high school i surrounded myself with as many friends as i could so that when i was at home... i had someone to talk to on the phone. most of the time i didn't even lke the person i was talking to but hey it was something.

after high school i only kept a few friends.. and only one that i call on a regular basis. and even she gets annoyed at me at times. so my social circle is not really a circle at all... so when i first met him he was going through a slow time at work. we would talk for hours on the phone and many times a day... now he's working double days and 7 days a week. he can't talk to me for more than 10 minutes and when we see each other he's dead tired. so i start complaining. and nagging.

so he's frustrated because he says he gives me as much time as he can and it's not enough for me... i don't support him in his work or otherwise... but i do. i've never asked him to take a day off of work for me... i help him with his daughter when he needs it and hey i cook for him.. that's support. no?

so it's not all his fault. on monday when i start my new job (woohoo) things will change because now i won't have time for him. maybe things will go back to normal now that i won't have that much time on my hands... now both him and mala can take a break from the emotional support they have to give me.

so in all fairness... he's not a bad boyfriend. i take him for granted as much as he does me i think. he's just scared... i'm sacred too. aren't we supposed to be??