in all fairness

i feel like i've been unfair to my beau in how i represent him in my blog. he's a good man. he's a caring boyfriend. he's not all to blame about the communication problems we are having. and to tell the truth i'm not all that upset about his "no marriage" speech the other day. I'm upset because he doesn't think i support him.

i'm a needy person. in high school i surrounded myself with as many friends as i could so that when i was at home... i had someone to talk to on the phone. most of the time i didn't even lke the person i was talking to but hey it was something.

after high school i only kept a few friends.. and only one that i call on a regular basis. and even she gets annoyed at me at times. so my social circle is not really a circle at all... so when i first met him he was going through a slow time at work. we would talk for hours on the phone and many times a day... now he's working double days and 7 days a week. he can't talk to me for more than 10 minutes and when we see each other he's dead tired. so i start complaining. and nagging.

so he's frustrated because he says he gives me as much time as he can and it's not enough for me... i don't support him in his work or otherwise... but i do. i've never asked him to take a day off of work for me... i help him with his daughter when he needs it and hey i cook for him.. that's support. no?

so it's not all his fault. on monday when i start my new job (woohoo) things will change because now i won't have time for him. maybe things will go back to normal now that i won't have that much time on my hands... now both him and mala can take a break from the emotional support they have to give me.

so in all fairness... he's not a bad boyfriend. i take him for granted as much as he does me i think. he's just scared... i'm sacred too. aren't we supposed to be??