they just don't get it

and by they i mean the people in my life. i've come to the realization that no one really knows or understands me. and i guess that's just fine since i've decided to stop trying.

yesterday my mother went on a rant quickly followed by a rave about my life and blah blah blah. i admit that i have a very short fuse. i get annoyed very easily(which is seriously making me reconsider the whole being a mom someday thing). I know that my mother and i will never get along. especially since she refuses to understand that i'm all grown up now. if i make mistakes they are mine... all mine. she questions my choice men, life, food and just about everything. a little fight over somethiing as dumb as a freakin puzzle(fo real we started arguing about a freakin mickey mouse puzzle) turned into a huge fight about well just about everything.

fucked up thing is that i can't do anything about it. i dont' have a job right now so i'm stuck at home till i can afford a place. so... i'm just gonna give up.

then there is my beau. he's a good boyfriend don't get me wrong... but he just doesn't get me. i admit i'm a little clingy and i get annoyed very easily... but damnit think a little. summer is his busy season at work. so he's been working pretty much 7 days a week which means that we hardly go outside. wednesday was the first time we go out in a while... and that was cuz his buddy was here. see where i'm going with this?? yesterday he tells me that his friends are going to six flags and i should go.. i say that's just weird if i go without u and am just with a bunch of ur friends so no i would rather go when u go... fine he says. he just called me... from six flags. i've asked him to take a day off of work so we could do something.. no he says.. work is too important... but his friends said c'mon just don't go to work and it was all good. see where this went?? so i'm pissy. he thinks i'm being crazy. i think he doens't think. he thinks i'm pissed cuz i didn't go... i'm bothered because it just seems like i'm not up there on his list of priorities.

and then he says... we see eachother everyday what more do u want?? well for starters i don't need to see him everyday if all he's gonna do is sit and watch tv. yesterday i asked him if he was gonna talk to me and he said he was too tired... seeing eachother isn't literally looking at one another. so we've decided to not see eachother during the week. which is just fine...

i dont' want to be number one.. but i don't want to be the after thought either which is what it feels like right now. he's taking me for granted already i feel. is that asking for too much?? am i being crazy and unreasonable??

but i guess it's cuz i forget that i'm simply a girlfriend. so i'm just gonna give up. he'll never understand why i'm upset because he never takes time out to actually listen to me. so i'll be simply the chick he sees on the weekends and has sex with... but like i said.. i have a short fuse... i get easily annoyed(which is seriously making me reconsider the whole being with him thing)...