i'm so bored!

i usually have community meetings that i have to attend as part of my job. I have at least one a week. the problem is that most of these meetings don't start till after 7 and i'm stuck at the office waiting around till it's time to go. To make matters worse i' m the only one with a meeting tonight so i'm waiting by my self. i'm bored to tears and i have nothing to do. any suggestions on what i can do to pass the time when i'm stuck at the office?

on a different note... i went maternity clothes shopping this weekend and i hate how i look in maternity clothes. and the maternity bras... ugh..

so it that irony??

every since that dumb alanis song i've been confused about what irony is.. but here's my story.

If u faithful reader (singular cuz there is only one of u) go into my archives and look up may 30th or so you will find a post about a conversation i had with my beau in which he tells me he loves me but doesn't have any plans to marry me(read the post). i was sad for a while, but quickly got over it knowing my beau can be over dramatic at times...

that weekend... also happens to be the weekend i got with child.. knocked up is that better? is that irony? cuz now we are in when we get married mode... the very night he was all i can't make forever plans right now we made a forever plan. so is that irony?

well i've been worried lately that the reason he wants to get married is cuz we are having a baby(he brought up getting married the same day we found out i was pregs). and while i want to marry him cuz i looooves him i've been a little resistant to the whole thing.

so i did what i always do ... i asked him if he wanted to get married cuz i was having a baby or if he'd marry me regardless. he said i was silly for asking.. and that i should know. i just looked at him... and said. dear i know u love me and that isn't the issue. u loved me in may and said u wouldn't marry me... and he said. i do love u and i think we are in a better place now then 6 months ago. we live together and we are getting along better. it's time to make forever plans don't u think?

yeah i do think.. but now i'm the one that wants to take it slow.. so is that ironic?

Señora

election day was yesterday and i was out there handing out shit and reminding people to vote...more on that later i have other more important stuff to write about...

on sunday my beau, his daughter and i stopped by to visit his cousins and aunt. I waited in the car because i was feeling tired (and bitchy). but of course i ended up having to pee about 2 minutes after he went inside the house and i ended up following him in anyways. after much belly rubbing and questions about my little girl we were finally ready to leave. as we were walking out the door we run into some other family member and my beau introduces me as his Señora. i did a double take and looked at him.. not sure if how i should feel...

the first time i was called anyone's señora was when i went to this party with a guy friend. i went to this party with this kid as a friend and had no idea that he thought it was something more. ok ok i really went cuz it was the birthday party of the midget and i was still hung up on him and i thought going with his friend would give me an opportunity to get back together with him... yes i'm a dork i know. so anyways he introduces me to the people at the party as his old lady (sounds much worse in english) and i almost threw up...

so when my current beau called me his señora i didn't know how to react. it makes me feel old. i mean i don't go around introducing him as mi señor that sounds way too religious... i didn't mention anything to him. so i guess that i'm not just his girlfriend... maybe he can say this is my baby momma.. or the woman with my illigitimate child. yeah... i guess señora is more pc than any of those. Señora Fea... sarg

better safe than sorry... shut up

so these past few months have been filled with many emotions. i'm happy and excited about being a new mom. but i've also worried to no end about my baby's health and well being. my shiney new private doctor has not helped matters.

a couple of weeks back i got a phone call that a blood test came back funny. they advised me to get an amnio better to know now... so i went to get my test done even though my beau was not happy with them sticking a huge needle in my tummy. I found out before my test that the chances the baby had something wrong were 1 in 141.... less than 1%. but i let myself get sucked into that better to know now mentality and got the test done anyways. it hurt like a bitch...

today... i went for my second trimester sonogram. it was actually my second go at this sonogram because the first time i went they were unable to get all the pics they needed. so this go around the baby (stubborn like her parents) would not turn and face the camera so that all important picture of the heart was unattainable. now because of this they want to refer me to a prenatal cardiologist... not because they saw something wrong but because they just didn't see the heart. My baby's heart is a perfect 4 chamber heart that beats at a perfect 150 bpm... she doesn't need any more tests done. the technician said to me better safe than sorry...

so what is it? why all these little saying being thrown at me. tell me something concrete. stop making me worry!!! i have more important things to worry about.. like what color scheme the baby's room and bedding will be...just let me enjoy this without the needles and the beeping machines... just my beau and i curled up in bed feeling our healthy baby girl kick.