the ultimate arg...

so i have a question for my blog reader (note the singular)..

how often do you think of ur exes???

yet another post that may make my husband angry but i've been wondering if it's normal to be thinking about ur ex. as in... is his life as miserable as i hope it would be??? or is he happy?? and more importantly.. how often does he think about me???

well i must confess that i have. i'll be clear i love my husband and my family and am greteful everyday for them. but i wonder all the time. maybe it's my wish to be so unforgetable that he's thinking of me all the time regretting how he hurt me. my hope that he's pinning over me... not cuz i'm pinning over him but because damn it... he shoud be regretting what he did.

and i don't understand people that stay friends with their exes. i mean besides people who have kids together. it doesn't make sense to me... i don't want to know that he's happy with some other chick. i don't want him to know anything about me... so y stay friends unless u want to hold on to the chance that u'll reconcile.

and then i feel guilty about thinking about him... about wishing him ill (although much less ill than when we first broke up. i'm over it u know). and i feel bad that after 8 years i couldn't stay friends with him. that i didn't want to cuz let's face it i really didn't like him all that much. and then i get sad that it took me 8 years and for him to cheat on me for me to realize that. it's not a good feeling. feeling like u wasted a good chunk of ur life to someone who really was a big fat poopie head. and that makes me say *sarg... quickly followed by an ARG cuz i shouldn't feel guilty about anything... or sad. i'm married to a husband that although is annoyed with me will go out and buy me wonderful sushi just cuz and tolerates my tantrums when i can't find something. and have wonderful kids that make me laugh all day long

so is that normal?? and can anyone find out for me if he's thinking of me?? :0)

im bored

so... my life has become video games and discovery ID. Not really sure what it is about watching true crime television that fascinates me... is it the thought that crazy chainsaw massacre type people really exist?? whatever the reason i see myself changing the channel to 285 every chance i get... that is after watching my reality shows...

and then my weekends... i spend those playing video games... at my house or at drea's house... rock band... mario galaxy... trauma center... even bingo online.

what happened to me?? i used to go out dancing every weekend without fail. it was my workout really.. and my diet was really a liquid diet... wine.. red or white.

i even think i blogged about this before. this realization my hubby and i had over cheesecake as we flipped from a WWII documentary and Deranged and i just looked over to him and said... god we have a boring life...

so i then chugged 6 beers (ugh) came upstairs and played bingo.... woo hoo fun.

i need to get my joie de vivre back. i need to lose some weight so i can fit into my sexy clothes (not) and go shake my booty again and live off wine and hang out with people other than my 2.5 year old...

but sundays... those belong to rock band.