pregnant exes

my exes wife is pregnant. this is the woman he left me for. good for them... bad for me

see... i always knew that it would be easy for me to have kids... (i have polycystic ovaries... look it up). and after my ex had chemo and radiation for over a year we thought it would be impossible to have kids... but now i see that the reason i never got pregnant after 8 years of unprotected sex is cuz of me... not the chemo/radiated penis but my fucked up ovaries.

and there has been a huge amount of baby talk with my beau... not cuz we want one but because he terrified that we'll get one hell of a surprise. no, he doens't have anything to worry about. i don't want kids right now. i'm too young still... but i do want kids someday. and the thought that this may never happen is breaking my heart.

i guess i should be glad that i never had kids with that guy. maybe things happen for a reason and i shouldn't let this get me down... keep hope alive? i'll have kids when i'm ready even if it means adopting or just taking one from the maternity ward... i mean they are small packages... easy to get away with no?? hmm... yeah .. i'll worry about this when i'm baby ready... right now i have a trip to el ecua to plan.. so much shopping to do!!!