it wasn't paranoia

so i was right in thinking that not everything was ok bet. me and my beau...

i call him tonight to chat for a bit.. and he interrupts my hellos with "ok let's get right to the point". my heart skips a beat thinking oh no here it comes.. and over the phone too... when he asks me the last thing i ever thought he would ask. he asks me if i ever slept with el ecuarockero... what??!! well apparently that is what this asshole has been saying.. to everyone. by beau said that he couldn't remember something that had been bothering him that night.. and well... it finally came to him.. he actually overheard the asshole saying to everyone there that he had slept with me.

yes we kissed... but that's it!! i never slept with that jerk ... not after he was so flakey with me... what was upsetting my beau was the fact that he thought i had lied to him about my relationship(what relationship??) with this fat fuck. it got me upset that i had to once again tell him that no i didn't sleep with him...

then my beau asked me if i liked his cousin... cuz of an incident earlier in our relationship with his cousin(i lifted his cousin's shirt so a friend could admire it.. not the shirt... his cousins chest.. not that impressive btw) and cuz i let his cousin sit on my lap on saturday...after the hair incident. I actaully think his cousin is a bit sleezy... don't like him at all... how could i when i'm with the person i want. ni se comparan...

he said that he felt wrong... se siente mal... esto no esta bien. que me quiere pero no se siente bien. he doesnt' trust me now. so he was never over it.

so apparently everyone thinks i'm a whore. even at d'antigua... he said that people have said about me and mala.. give them a drink.. see what u can get.

and he believed them. which hurt me. he says he doens't want to hang out with those people again... but if i want to go.. go ahead. how can i?? i see that asshole i'm gonna go crazy on his ass... i will try to kill him. he deliberately tried to ruin a good thing that i have because se quedo picado... i hate them... because of them things are rocky with my boyfriend. he said to give him time to get over things... that it will pass... things seemed to get more to normal by the end of the convo... we may be seeing each other tomorrow bus strike willing.. and this weekend he mentioned going out(i'm sure not to la kueva).

so i cried again tonight for the 3rd night in a row. i feel like my heart is breaking. i love this boy.

so i dont' think i'll be going tertuliando tonight.. otherwise there may be a homicide... but then again there will be one less coke addict in the world.. asshole