test stress and sleepiness

for months i have been preparing my student for the TACHS exam (Test for Admission into Catholic High Schools). She was nervous. I was stressed. her mother was stressing the hell out of me. friday night we were going to pamper her... destress her... didn't happen. maybe it was that her father started saying that she wouldn't be allowed to go to the school of her choice.. or maybe when her father and mother started screaming at each other in her room... i just don't think that hearing ur father call ur mother a fucking retard helps in any way to destress a child. but after i kicked her parents out of her room and we started watching her fav movie Mean Girls(hey she's 13) she slowly drifted off to sleep. and i slowly crept out of her room... and out of her house to meet up with ElDeLaPlumita.

he came to pick me up and we headed to his friend's house. there we hung out for a while with him cousins and friend's. i laughed at his old birthday video. we kissed and hugged in front of his friends... and i didn't say a word... we left his friend's and dropped everyone at home.. a drawback of having a car i guess(never had to drop anyone off taking the train) and ended up at his place.

at about 6am... fuck i have to go. i have to call a cab and rush back to my student's house so i can take her to the test. her mother thinking that i would never make it starts freakin out... she needs u to relax!!! i get there.. wake her up and get her breakfast. she's calm.. until she gets in the car and her mom starts freakin out. we aren't going to make it.. we'll be late.. we need to buy pencils... eat ur food... drink ur tea... i can't believe we're going to be late... finally i look at her and say... shut up. u need to relax so she can relax. it worked. we blasted the music and sang ... well i sang... they tried to sing :0) we get to the test site. get her to her room. settle her in.. and i give her her final pep talk. then i lick her face(hey it makes the kid laugh cuz she can't believe i actually lick her face... whatever works) 3 hours later we go back and get her. she comes out and gives me a hug.. i hate u. u made the practices so hard and the test was so easy!!! well yeah... i made them hard on a purpose.. so that she would find the test easy. we get into the car... i give her a gift -- one of those foam pillows in the shape of a cow... she names the cow after me. and surprisingly i'm not offended. we head back to the house and her mother are suprised that i can still function on no sleep. maybe it's the 4 cups of coffee i had... maybe it's the relief that she did well on the test... i mean i almost cried from the relief... i had been super stressed... i just didn't show it. i have this habit of keeping things till i explode... i mean i've been known to keep things bottled up for 8 yrs even...
but i did sleep in the afternoon... like 2 hours... then went shopping. in the middle of all this he calls... asking where i am. i thought u were gonna come back right away... i've been waiting. hehe

i bought stuff for ElDeLaPlumita's daughter... small hello kitty stuff... cute stuff... and then i think.. is it too soon? what if he thinks i'm rushing things?? then i think.. fuck it.. i wanna buy the kid something.. if it scares him well screw that... i'm gonna be me and do what i want, right?

i head out to the cave a little late... but i meet up with him and another group of friends that just came from el ecua... everyone is drinking.. i don't say a word... we leave a little early and end up at his place. next day we have to get up early cuz we have to drop off yet another friend... then i get driven home.

while i'm home.. i get a phone call from a one of the boys from the cave.. that a group of them.. including el ecuarockero are hanging and they want me to go over... yeah.. um no. i mention it to plumita and he says -- what kind of girl do they think u are?? arg... i hate to think that other people have the same opinion of me... i hate to think that psycho boli's words have reached people's ears... i politely say no the the boy. and he tells me i've changed. that i'm not the same girl they met. but i havn't changed. i'm still me. why do people think they know me cuz they've seen me hang out and dance and have fun? they don't know me... they don't. half hour later ecuarockero's friend calls me... ur so beautiful.. u should come over. ick.. no.. an hour later ecuarockero calls to apologize for his friend. he tells me that his friend took his phone and called without asking. then he apoligized for himself saying he had been an ass and that he hoped i could forgive him. sure.. but i'm sleeping right now..call me later... knowing that he would never call.. cuz that's his MO. plumita says to me.. damn u have them all going crazy. they all like u... too bad i'm only interested in one person...

but here's my question. why am i so shy around him? canvasfly says that it's cuz i'm afraid i'll scare him off with my real personality. but then... i don't want him to be all scared when i do show who i am. i'm a person that doens't take anything seriously.. if i see an old woman fall.. damn it i'll laugh. i'm not a quiet person.. in fact i'm quite loud. so why am i so afraid of showing him that side of me?? is it that i'm intimidated by his perfect spanish and the fact that i'm slowly forgetting mine?? no se. i have to get out of my shell... i have to show him who fea really is...