Regrets

i have many regrets in my life. i wish i would've finished school. i wish i would've never gained the poundage i have now. but i think my deepest regret is not being a better friend to my friends. i'm a selfish person and i forget the people around me. i forget that other people have problems too and that the world - inexplicably - does not revolve around me. and it sucks that sometimes you realize these things when it's too late.

a few weeks back an old friend of mine died. i say an old friend not because we were friends for a long time... but because we were no longer friends. we had stopped talking to each other partly because i just didn't have the time to answer a phone call or return one. and now it's too late. and the guilt is getting to me. and of course then i get to thinking that this is just a way to make this all about me again.. and my guilt. when really it just proves how much i suck.

so does that mean i'm going to be a better friend to people around me?? i guess we just wait and see.... just don't wait by the phone... change takes time.